ED, Portrait of a Girl, 9X11, acrylic youpo, 2012
It is simply an act, the thing you do when no one asks you
to; the thing no one does without being paid for, or ordered, but no one ever
would think of paying or ordering a thing like that.
It is simply a step you take when you don’t have to go
anywhere, when there is no calorie count, when you are not a part of a program
and it is not towards your refrigerator.
It is a thing you don’t have to submit, and don’t know how to
justify if you had to. You do it alone. It leaves you in perplex. You look around
and think, did anyone notice, because if anyone did, they may ask you what is
it that your were just doing and why, and you won’t be able to come up with a
plausible explanation right away, so you will say, um-m…. And they will get suspicious
or just try to avoid you next time, or if they cannot avoid you at a party,
for instance, they will have a very hard time to make a very small talk with
you, and it will feel awkward to both.
Very few people do simple acts like that, which is strange
because we all were children at some point. I am afraid that there are even
fewer people now than ever, precisely because of the childhood where purpose
competes with entertainment and boredom is a culprit.
Very few people do simple acts like that, and it doesn’t
surprise me, because people have access. They can always busy themselves with
something that helps them to blend in. So if you walk around without a devise
in your ear, or on your arm, or in your pocket, if you are not wearing seat-belt
or helmet, no name-tag, or uniform, you might start feeling very alien and very un-belonging.
The last resort you might employ is to push something in front of you, or to
find someone to ask, how can I help you, but if even these opportunities are
closed, you might consider doing simply an act, the thing you do
when no one asks you to; the thing no one does without being paid for, or
ordered, but no one ever…
